Summer Survival for Your Relationship: Making Your Marriage a Priority When the Kids Are Home

Summer’s here. You know, that time of year when the kids are suddenly everywhere, the routines disappear, and your to-do list triples in size. Somewhere between packing snacks, breaking up sibling fights, and trying to remember what day of the week it is, your marriage quietly slides to the bottom of the list.

It’s not intentional—it never is. But busyness has a way of creeping in and building walls between couples, especially those already wrestling with communication issues.

If you're honest, summer sometimes feels less like a break and more like a breakdown waiting to happen.

If that’s you, keep reading. This post is your permission slip to slow down, reset, and make your relationship a priority, even during the chaos that summertime can often bring.

Why Summer Can Be So Hard on Relationships

Summer sounds like freedom... until you’re living in it. The structure your family depends on during the school year is suddenly gone. There’s more time together, but not always in a way that feels connecting.

And if you and your partner already struggle with communication, summer can highlight those problems. You’re navigating new schedules, more responsibilities, and higher emotional loads—without the tools you need to actually talk through it.

When you’re overwhelmed and have a never ending to-do list, it’s easy to stop checking in with each other. Small irritations turn into full-blown arguments. Or worse, you retreat into silence and just “get through the day.”

But here’s the truth—just because life is busy doesn’t mean your relationship has to take a back seat.

Tool #1: A Weekly Couple’s Check-In (That Doesn’t Involve Logistics)

It’s wild how couples can talk all day about grocery runs, summer camps, and screen time limits—but never talk about us.

Try scheduling one weekly check-in that is just about your relationship. Not the kids. Not the errands. Just you two.

Ask:

• How are you feeling about us this week?

• What do you need more of from me?

• What’s one way we can connect this week?

It doesn’t have to be deep and heavy—just intentional. When you create space for emotional connection, you reduce resentment, improve communication, and remind each other that this still matters.

Tool #2: Divide and Conquer—Then Decompress Together as a Couple

Summer can feel like a constant game of “Who’s doing what?” And if the load isn’t being shared fairly, tension builds quickly.

Sit down and talk about division of labor. What’s realistic for each of you right now? Where are you feeling burnt out? What expectations need to shift?

This isn’t about keeping score—it’s about staying on the same team. And after a long day of tag-teaming, carve out 10–15 minutes of “no kid” time in the evening. Share a snack, watch a show, sit on the porch. It’s not the quantity—it’s the consistency of finding time for each other that keeps connection alive.

Tool #3: Protect One-on-One Time Like It’s Sacred (Because It Is)

Date nights can be hard during summer months. Babysitters are expensive, routines are unpredictable, you're exhausted, and if you live in Texas, it’s HOT all day every day!

But that doesn’t mean connection has to die. Get creative:

• Plan a “porch date” after the kids are in bed.

• Do a coffee run together before the day starts.

• Watch the same show in different rooms and text each other commentary (yes, that counts!).

The point is this: your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be prioritized.

When couples neglect one-on-one time, emotional distance grows. But when you regularly invest even a little time in each other, it builds a cushion of closeness that softens the impact of life’s demands.

Tool #4: Have a Communication Reset

Summer might actually be the perfect time to reset the way you talk to each other.

If communication has been short, tense, or full of misunderstandings, use the transition of summer to also shift how you have been communicating. Continuing an unhealthy communication pattern will only lead to more disconnect.

Here’s where a couple’s therapist (yes, even during the summer) can be your lifeline. In therapy, you’ll learn to:

• Identify your unhealthy communication cycles and learn tools to create change

• Express needs clearly without attacking each other

• Respond with empathy, not defensiveness

At HOPE, we often use the Gottman Method in sessions to help couples rebuild communication. It gives you real tools—like how to do a gentle start-up in conflict, how to self-soothe before blowing up, and how to effectively repair after a fight instead of sweeping things under the rug.

Summer’s chaos doesn’t have to be the death of your connection. It can be the catalyst for shifting your relationship in a way that actually works.

Don’t Wait Until the Fall to Start Reconnecting

If you wait until the kids are back in school, schedules settle, and things feel “normal” again, you could be increasing the emotional distance that you already have. The longer unhealthy dynamics go on, the more ingrained they become. You don’t want to fall into repeated cycles of blame, defensiveness, or avoidance, making it harder to reconnect or feel safe with each other.

You can make your relationship a priority right now—even in the middle of sticky floors, constant snack requests, and back-to-back summer plans.

You don’t need more time. You need more intention.

If you’re in San Antonio, Schertz, or surrounding areas and ready to reconnect, we’re here. Our team offers couple’s therapy designed to help you communicate better, rebuild emotional intimacy, and feel like teammates again—even when life is busy.

Your relationship deserves care, not just survival.

Let this summer be the season you start showing up for each other—on purpose.

📅 Schedule a consultation with one of our therapists today.
Let’s work together to make your marriage thrive, not just survive.